A quick survey of my favorite veterinarians revealed the following white lies we vets are guilty of:
1. She’s not fat, she’s just Rubenesque (as in, morbidly obese).
2. You might want to cut down on his food just a tad (as in, he’s morbidly obese).
3. She’s not stinky, she smells just like a spring breeze (…and like a Golden retriever after a summer downpour, so next time don’t do me the favor of bathing her right before her visit).
4. Don’t worry, we’ll pick it up, it happens all the time (though usually not on the walls and all over the technician).
5. You want me to check his anal glands? Sure—I’d love to!
6. You forgot your credit card? Don’t worry—we trust you (so maybe you can take that Frontline after you do remember to bring your credit card).
7. No… she’s not so dirty. Dogs and cats get mats like this all the time in their fur.
8. …and these grungy ears? That’s OK, I don’t mind cleaning them.
9. That muzzle? We just use them because we like to be careful here. It’s really no reflection on her personality…
10. Oops! Don’t worry! That bleeding tends to stop pretty quickly…
Remember… I say all this with love in my heart… and with remorse for our veterinary failings, of course.
If you have any more white lies you tell (from any industry), I’ll happily receive them…
Dr. Patty Khuly
Last reviewed on July 31, 2015